Not happy

I'm so not looking forward to this next week at work. It's depressing me quite a bit just thinking about it actually. I have a weird relationship with my job. On the one hand, I sometimes quite like it but nowadays I've progressed from mostly disliking it to mostly outright hating it. The recent thing?

Well other than having to commute for about 6 hours tomorrow and teach a 4 hour class, on Tuesday I get to go and work an evening class that's continuing on from an evening class that I was teaching before. Why is this bad? Well aside from finishing late in Erlangen and then having to be up again at 6 the next morning for an early class in Erlangen, the class I'm going to have slated me in the reviews.

Well no, that's not exactly right, that would be understandable. I was slated and requested for the next class in equal measure. What pisses me off about the slating is that it wasn't my fault but I'm going to suffer in amount of work because of that. Most of the comments written said that the course didn't follow on very well and wasn't very coherent. What the hell do they expect when there were four different teachers filling in for me because I was sick with Lyme disease?! These students knew that too and apparently were upset that I wasn't coming back for the end of the course (not that it stopped them from being a bunch of bitches).

Excuse me for being really fucking sick.

This class also demanded so fucking much of me too - I changed everything twice for them because they requested it and also helped them out with stuff in my breaks and after work.

So in short, I'm not just sick of my job, I'm at the point now where I'm really close to telling my boss I want to leave and just finding a job in the commissary.

Except I can't because I don't want to be some kind of failure and I really can't see what else I've got going for me career-wise in life. I *was* going to re-train using the MyCAA grants but that's no longer an option now. I have a job I hate, not many options because I'm in Germany and feeling pressured to keep the job because I don't want my husband to be disappointed in me and I want to have my own money and sense of independence.

I think he kind of likes it that he's got a wife that works on the economy.

Also in the shit stakes, I got a bill for 131 euros from a laboratory that did all the tests for Lyme and stuff at the Internist that Tricare referred me to and told me would be free. Looks like I have a Tricare drama coming up.

Update: To add to the Tuesday class weirdness, I just got an email informing me that 6 more students have signed up at short notice for the class with me and I won't have enough books for them.

Still think this is a pile of shite.